


It's gone.

by Kassius



Series: Tumblr Shortfic Prompts [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Family, Love, Miscarriage, Slight Violence, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 09:37:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3170069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kassius/pseuds/Kassius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt:</p>
<p>what if lavellan was too afraid to tell cullen about the child, so she kept it a secret. she couldn’t look him in the eyes, avoiding him more and more every day. but then, badly injured after the battle, she lost it. she lost their child.</p>
<p>imagine cullen’s face, when the healer tells him the bad news.</p>
    </blockquote>





	It's gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt:
> 
> what if lavellan was too afraid to tell cullen about the child, so she kept it a secret. she couldn’t look him in the eyes, avoiding him more and more every day. but then, badly injured after the battle, she lost it. she lost their child.
> 
> imagine cullen’s face, when the healer tells him the bad news.

She can’t sleep most nights now. Her thumbs rub circles on her stomach.

If Cullen finds out… He was already afraid of beginning the relationship because of the war.

Lavellan whimpers, hiding in her tent. They’ll be at Skyhold in a few days. Cole has been helping, telling her that he won’t leave. That the little one won’t leave either. Even if Cullen does.

Dorian figured it out quickly. He’s seen the signs before and he most definitely isn’t an idiot. He doesn’t mention it though, he also doesn’t mention her odd eating habits and the vomiting at nearly every smell and sight of food.

Cassandra picks it up too. For much the same reasons.

They don’t leave, or judge, or look at her with pity. Maybe she’ll be okay.

“ _Maybe I’ll tell him.”_  Lavellan glances at Cole. Unsurprised at his silent appearance in her tent. She wraps her arms around her middle. Even if… even if everyone leaves her.  _Them._  She’ll still protect it.

She’ll still raise it. She’ll love it. She’ll take care of it. Alone if she has to.

A cool hand makes her jump. “You aren’t alone. You never will be.” He smiles at her and she smiles back weakly. “You’re scared. But it’s warm, swelling in you. You’re scared but you’re happy too.”

Lavellan nods. She is. She’s pregnant. She has life growing within her even after all the abdominal wounds from battle. “I’m pregnant.” She almost whispers it to her stomach.

Cole holds her until she sleeps, running his fingers through her hair.

 

"Oh thank the Maker." Dorian sighs as Skyhold comes into view. Less than a day and they’ll be home. Lavellan smiles too. Cole squeezes her shoulder.

She’ll tell him. Cole assures her he won’t be mad. That Cullen has even been tormented with how to breach the subject of a future, a  _family_ , with her.

Cassandra is about to speak when she’s interrupted by a Shield.

Red Templars.

6 of them. A Guard, 3 Knights, a Horror and a Shadow.

She can handle the Knight that comes at her, feeling the bursts of magic from Dorian behind them all as he occupies the Horror. She brings her weapon up, glancing off the Knight’s sword and she stabs it in the chest.

Her arm is cut. She blocked wrong. Cullen would have her ear for that.

Cole takes another Knight down swiftly, moving too fast to get seriously injured. The Horror’s shriek fills the air as they round on the last Knight.

Dorian freezes the Guard and Cassandra shatters it. Her arm is stiff, nursed behind her shield and the Tevinter  _tsk_ 's at her. “I only have enough energy left to stop the pain for the rest of the trip back. If you make it worse, it's your fault.”

She thanks him though, holding her arm as he tells her to and Cole holds her other hand when he needs to reset it. Lavellan takes it upon herself to search the bodies.

She feels a slight chill before the distinct sound of Cole flashing out of sight but he’s too late.

Lavellan gasps, tasting blood and searing pain. She only hears Cole reappear, Cassandra shouting and Dorian swearing before she falls to her knees.

 

Cullen is glad when the horn sounds. She’s back and he can finally tell her what he wants. Just how serious he is.

He shakes at the cold feeling of dread that settles in his chest when the horn sounds again. And again.

He’s running to the gates before he even recognises that he’s moving. 3 horns. 3 horns is seriously wounded. 3 horns is a call for  _all_  healers. Not just the competent ones.

Cole is running, Dorian beside him, grabbing the lyrium potion from the hand of Solas who joins him.

They’re carrying Lavellan.

Cullen all but shoves his way to Cassandra who carries their packs, trotting behind them.

"What happened?" He can’t stop the sick feeling, the dread and fear that has seized his chest.

"Red Templar ambush." She doesn’t get the chance to say more, being swept away by the unoccupied healers to have her arm tended.

 

No one is allowed near the infirmary until late that night. Dorian, Solas, Vivienne are too tired to walk much further than the soft grass outside the small building.

Not even Vivienne protests sitting on the ground. All of them are drained and worn.

Cullen almost asks if she’s okay. He finally has some good luck and then this happens. She didn’t even get so badly wounded in her first dragon fight.

But they look not only worn, but sad. Even Vivienne.

Cole steps over to him. “She’s alive. You can see her.” He doesn’t say anymore, going to sit by the mages.

The healers part for him, he feels his stomach turn at the number of bandages with blood in the hampers. And the amount of bandages around her chest.

Lavellan’s breaths are pained but even and Cullen falls onto a chair by her cot. She’s pale from blood loss and he pulls up the blanket to her shoulders to keep her warm.

 

She looks so small. She may be slight and lithe, but the air she holds about her is so strong, so certain in her decisions. Cullen runs a hand through his hair and takes hers in his other, kissing her knuckles.

He would have stayed like that if it weren’t for the surgeon coming over and squeezing his shoulder. “Saying ‘sorry’ really doesn’t feel enough for this.” She squeezes his shoulder again at his confused look.

"The baby." Baby? "It didn’t survive the shock." What baby?

The surgeon leaves him and Cullen turns slowly towards Lavellan. The bandages are over her chest, just below her breasts, and after he pulls the blanket back, they cover to her hips.

A red line of blood marks the bandages over her stomach.

_Baby_. Cullen shakes, dropping her hand to cover his mouth. She was pregnant. He can’t stop shaking. She  **was**  pregnant.

He almost screams, sobbing into the cot, clutching the blanket so tight his hands hurt. His chest is cold and empty. Achingly empty and he can’t stop wailing.

They had already started a family before he knew he wanted one.

And now it’s  _gone_.


End file.
